There are a couple of things you can do!
First of all you need to define why you have social phobia. What are you not comfortable with?
Is it one of the following?
- I don?t like people to stare/look at me
- I care too much about what they think when I say something
- I?m afraid to say no (and feel guilty when I do)
- I?m afraid to stand up for myself
In these 4 cases you place a lot of value on what other people think of you. And you know what, that?s human. We need appraisal from others.
It becomes a problem when you place too much importance on what other people think of you. Maybe you try to be a chameleon sometimes, where you try to blend in, to be liked.
That?s what I did?
But it?s truly exhausting isn?t it? And for me it gave me panic attacks and weird symptoms in my body, so by the end of my problem, before I found the solution in 2004 I decided to skip as many social events as possible, to avoid those feelings.
So what is the solution? In one sentence?
?Every now and then you have to say what the F?. It?s a phrase I once heard in Risky Business, with Tom Cruise. And that phrase is amazing.
So what if they think I?m weird, stupid, dumb, egocentric,? SO what. That?s truly the solution.
But I realize it?s a lot easier said than done!
As you can see it?s really some mind management that can help you out here. Thinking: ?what will they think of me? or ?I don?t care what they think of me? will give you a totally different outcome.
The first sentence will give you anxiety, the second will not!
Do you have problems with social phobia? This is extremely common and many of us have this to one extent or another. But for some people this is a serious problem to the point where it interferes with their daily lives. When it gets to the point where you are beginning to see that you are avoiding certain situations and you are finding it difficult to get through your day because of your anxiety then there are some exercises you can try to help with your anxiety.
First off you should find out if your anxiety is truly from social phobia. Are you uncomfortable with any of the things below?
*People looking at or staring at me
*I put too much emphasis on what others think of me when I speak
*I feel guilty or I am afraid of saying no to people
*I have quite a bit of fear when I stand up for myself
These four cases have too much value being put on what others may be thinking about you. This is natural because we all want others to think highly of us and we like to have the approval of others. But when we put way to much weight on what others may be thinking about us it becomes quite a larger problem. Do you find yourself doing and saying things just because you think that is what others want from you?
This can get exhausting and stressful making your anxiety levels really skyrocket and could even lead to panic attacks. Continual stress will come out in many ways so if you are experiencing many of these symptoms like racing heart, nausea, dizziness, hard time breathing and swallowing just to name a few, then you are letting your anxiety get the better of you.
Try practicing not caring what others think about you. Try it out on someone, they don?t even have to know! Just think to yourself, ?I do not care what this person thinks. What they think doesn?t matter to me one bit.? Try it and see what happens and I bet your anxiety isn?t as high. This doesn?t mean that you are being mean to them, it is just an exercise to help you not care so much of what other may or may not be thinking about you.
Most times people really aren?t thinking about you as much as you think they are. Many times people are thinking about themselves and not about others so keep this in mind when you are practicing not caring what others are thinking about you.
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